First of all, I'd like to apologise for neglecting this blog. A lot has happened as we all know (in the world, and also in my personal life.) I wish I could go and write about my thoughts about everything, but I know that's not gonna happen.
Instead, I just wanted to reaffirm my promise to blog more regularly. I had a very low bar set already - to blog once a month - but even that fell by the wayside.
I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to fulfill this promise to myself. But I'm also ready to start anew. Especially since I found Matthew's fantastic blog, Exception Not Found. His article about keeping your own blog has inspired me again.
And then there's this five-year-old post that really struck a chord in me.
You see, lately I've been feeling a bit down.
And it's weird, because I know I've accomplished many things. But my mind keeps moving the goal posts.
I passed a test and got certified in December. I was promoted to Senior Developer in February. I started streaming/live coding weeks ago. I got approached to give a talk just yesterday.
And yet, I still don't think it's enough.
Maybe it's quarantine blues and lack of Vitamin D (I've been working from home since March), but my general feeling lately is I start all these different things, try to learn all these skills... but I'm not good enough.
There's so much stuff I want to learn. But even if I keep learning and learning, I don't feel good enough. I'm not an expert at anything. I feel like I always have to play catch-up, and I don't have the time and resources to do so.
Even with blogging, I start thinking I don't have the time to write good posts. So why should I even try?
Matthew's post gave me a different perspective.
I don't have to be an expert. But as long as I'm doing something - I'm learning - that's enough.
It's gonna take some time to reorient my thinking. But I'm hoping with this change, I'll have more confidence in expressing my thoughts on this blog.